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19-May-2012
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Working with Obstacle Thinkers
by Paul Winters
We all know people whose favorite expression is "Yes, but..." Chances are, you work with at least one person like this in your own company.
"Yes, but" people can always find reasons why something won't fly, whether it's a simple idea for today or a visionary issue for tomorrow. Their negativity usually isn't deliberate. They don't lie awake nights dreaming up ways to sabotage planning sessions, but when someone else fires off a suggestion, they just can't help themselves -- they have to shoot it down.
Even though we call such people obstacle thinkers, they aren't really thinking or planning at all. They're just reacting. They're not unintelligent or willfully destructive. They sincerely believe that they're protecting the organization and serving its best interests when they put up roadblocks. Seeing themselves as problem-solvers, they become so focused on the problems and risks that they can't see the vision.
It's also important to recognize that the problems they point to are real and definable issues. However, in the heat of discussion, an obstacle thinker has a hard time quantifying either the seriousness of a problem or the likelihood that it will actually happen. The safest and easiest response is just to throw up a roadblock. When other people find ways around that roadblock, guess what? The obstacle thinker throws up another roadblock.
So what's the best way to handle obstacle thinkers? We can't banish them. We can't execute them. Even just ignoring them can throw the planning process off track.
The only thing left is to work with them. To do this, we must first create a vision of the future, and then weave our way back to the present. Any attempt to work forward from today just plays into the hands of obstacle thinkers. When we can start out by accepting a shared vision of the future or just agree upon short-term objectives, obstacle thinking will no longer bring the process to a halt.
Throughout this visionary process, we can keep obstacle thinkers involved by validating their concerns. Two lists are created: One for the visionary process, and one for other issues, which we call the parking lot list. As soon as somebody throws up a roadblock, we capture it on the parking lot list. This separate list gives us a way to recognize the "Yes, but" people and record their ideas, and then get back to the vision. Often just having the issue noted allows an obstacle thinker to let go of it and join in the discussion.
In creating an action plan to achieve the future vision, we keep checking in at the parking lot to consider the impact of those issues. Because we've created a vision that we all want, we know we'll overcome the obstacles. At the same time, we've shown respect for the obstacle thinkers, recognized their contributions, and included them in the process.
Copyright © Paul Winters
Connect with People
by Kathy Condon
One of the simplest, overlooked, ways of connecting with people is shaking hands. In addition, many people have never been taught how to shake hands.
- Shake hands with everyone with whom you come in contact. Watch the smiles.
- Make sure the "V" (between thumb and index finger) in your hand moves clear into the "V" of the other persons hand - then press the other person's hand.
- If seated at a table, stand to shake hands.
- When leaving a person, shake his/her hand and ask for a "Contact Card." (I'm on a mission to change the name from "Business Card" because there are so many people running around without cards because they are not employed.)
- Teach your children how to shake hands. I am finding that if people have not learned how to shake hands at home, they may never learn that their handshake is presenting a wimpy impression to the world.
Take the time. Make someone feel significant. Shake their hand.
Copyright © Kathy Condon