Kathy Marshack News

Sleep Disorders or ADHD?

Thu, 16 May 2013 03:42:00 GMT

In a recent blog, I discussed that depression, anxiety, and stress could be linked to sleep disorders like sleep apnea. Now new research shows that ADHD could be diagnosed instead of a sleep disorder diagnosis.

The New York Times article- Diagnosing the Wrong Deficit - takes a look at the rise in ADHD diagnoses, but is it really ADHD? ADHD is linked to hyperactivity and difficulty concentrating, but these could also be symptoms for sleep depravation. Sleep depravation is rising among adults and also children. We are sleeping less than we did in the past. Some possible culprits are technology and stress. Lack of sleep can cause a variety of physical and emotional health problems.

This is not to say that an ADHD diagnosis is wrong. It's important if you feel that you or your child is experience symptoms that could be linked to ADHD, speak to your doctor. A specialist will ask questions such as:

Do your behaviors and feelings show that you have problems with attention and hyperactivity? (Your doctor might ask you questions about your past, your life now and your relationships. You may write down answers on forms.)
Have you had these problems for a long time, ever since you were a child?
Do you have a hard time keeping your temper or staying in a good mood? Have you had these kinds of problems since you were a young child? Do these problems happen to you both at work and at home? Do family members and friends see that you have problems in these areas?
Do you have any physical or mental health problems that might affect your behavior? Your doctor may give you a physical exam and tests to see if you have medical problems that are like ADHD.

For more information, visit my website - ADD & ADHD or contact my office to set up an appointment.

Lack of Empathy - How To Love Your Asperger Partner

Thu, 09 May 2013 16:37:00 GMT

When you love and care for an adult with Asperger Syndrome, you need a safe place to share your story about the frustrating and isolating life that you experience. Asperger Syndrome: Partners and Family of Adults with ASD has proved to be a valuable resource and a safe environment to share intimate and delicate scenarios that only those who live that life can understand.

On May 18, 2013, we will be meeting to discuss the topic, "How to love an abusive person." There is a reason why Dr. Simon Baron-Cohen published a book entitled, "The Science of Evil: On Empathy and the Origins of Cruelty." While he believes that Aspies have good intentions, he attributes their socially clueless behavior to lack of empathy. When on the receiving end of this lack of empathy, many neuro-typicals (non Asperger's) view these behaviors as unloving and even abusive. The question becomes, if the intention is not to cause harm, is it still abuse? Furthermore, how do you hold love in your heart for a person who consistently breaks your heart?

Please join us for an in depth look at this subject. If you will not be able to attend in person, please become a member of our online community. I look forward to hearing your stories.

My book, Life with a Partner or Spouse with Asperger Syndrome: Going Over the Edge is available for purchase. Click here to download a free sample chapter.

Kindle Edition of “Entrepreneurial Couples Making it Work at Work and at Home”

Wed, 08 May 2013 00:00:00 GMT

Great news! My book - Entrepreneurial Couples Making it Work at Work and at Home is now available on as a Kindle edition on Amazon.com.

Entrepreneurial Couples Making it Work at Work and at Home examines the traps entrepreneurial couples can fall into and offers practical advice for dealing with them. For example, entrepreneurial couples with a full family life have greater potential for breakdown in communication than do other couples. They often fail to confront issues head-on, instead relying on compromise and other avoidance techniques to ward off conflict.

How does a couple balance intimacy with family life and meaningful work? You'll read how to assess strengths and weaknesses in each area of your life, improve communication with your partner, develop flexibility, and reexamine priorities, offering a new way to design and live a more balanced, integrated, and meaningful entrepreneurial life.

"This book is a must read for any couples who are in business together." W. Gibb Dyer Jr., Ph.D. Marriot School of Management, Brigham Young University

"We wish we had this information thirty years ago when we started our business." Tom and Linda Denchel, Co-Owners, Tom Denchel Ford Country

Download your Kindle edition today!

Working Within Your Strengths – Practice Giving

Thu, 02 May 2013 16:19:00 GMT

Each and every individual is endowed with strengths and weaknesses. In order to find success and joy in life, you must learn to work with those strengths and weaknesses. How is this possible?

The New York Times published an interesting article about a man who has mastered the art of working with his strengths and overcoming his weaknesses. His name is Adam Grant. He is a professor at Wharton and an organizational psychologist. Organization psychology takes the principles of psychology and apply them to the workplace. He works with companies to help them care for and motivate their employees and also works with the employees to get the most out of their work. Grant is approachable, helpful, and dedicated. He believes that the biggest source of motivation should be found in helping others. His book, "Give and Take" centers around this idea that satisfaction and productivity are linked to extreme giving.

What struck me about Grant was reading about his childhood and adolescence. He was shy, socially awkward, and had a fear of public speaking. Grant challenged himself to overcome his social weaknesses and in the process learned that giving enabled him to do that. He learned to work within his strengths and weakness and now has joy and success. What a win-win situation! I recommend reading his story in the article - Is Giving the Secret to Getting Ahead?

To learn more about finding success and working with your strengths and weakness, visit Personal Growth.

Are You Gifted? Why Knowing the Answer Matters

Sun, 28 Apr 2013 22:32:00 GMT

Have people ever called you "too intense" or perhaps "too driven"? Or maybe people have said "Why don't you slow down?" or "Can't you do just one thing?" Do you have a habit of starting a new book to read before you have finished the old one? Is there only one person in a hundred who understands your jokes? Have you always felt like you just didn't fit in? If you can answer yes to these questions, you might just be a gifted adult. A gifted person according to the National Association of Gifted Children is, "someone who shows, or has the potential for showing, an exceptional level of performance in one or more areas of expression.”

One major characteristic of gifted adults is that they seldom realize that they are gifted. They may know they are smart, if they did well in school, but many gifted adults performed average in school. And even if you know that you are smart, the term “gifted” seems extreme. Often times, gifted adults grew up with very little social reinforcement for who they are. When you think differently and act differently than most everyone else you associate with, most people come to doubt their perceptions and thus doubt themselves.

After years of rejection and misunderstanding, the gifted adult has much misinformation about his or herself that may even be described as a “false self.” Through psychotherapy and education about giftedness, the gifted adult can reclaim their true self and find the meaning in life that they have a hidden longing for.

If you are a gifted adult or believe you have a gifted child, contact my office to set up an appointment. Let's unleash that gift together! For more information, visit Personal Growth - Gifted Adults and Parenting Effectively - Guiding a Gifted Child.

Science Proves How Hope Helps

Thu, 25 Apr 2013 19:48:00 GMT

When life throws you a curveball, we are often told to have hope. But is there any scientific proof that hope works? Dr. Jerome Groopman, author of The Anatomy of Hope, says there is truth to hoping. He writes, "Researchers are learning that a change in mind-set has the power to alter neurochemistry. Belief and expectation -- the key elements of hope -- can block pain by releasing the brain's endorphins and enkephalins, mimicking the effects of morphine. In some cases, hope can also have important effects on fundamental physiological processes like respiration, circulation and motor function."

Hopeful people are happier, less stressed, and healthier. How can you develop a hopeful attitude? According to the research of Duane Bidwell, an associate professor of practical theology at Claremont School of Theology in California and Dr. Donald Batisky, a pediatric nephrologist at Emory University School of Medicine in Atlanta, there are five pathways to hope: maintaining identity, realizing community, claiming power, attending to spirituality, and developing wisdom. To learn more about these pathways, read the article How Hope Can Help You Heal.

Hope should not be confused with denial or wishing. Hope requires moving forward actively not passively waiting. If you would like assistance in developing a hopeful mental attitude, set up an appointment with a mental health care professional who can guide you through this process.

For more information, visit Mind and Body Health - Holistic Health.

Feeling Anxious? How to Find Out if You Have Sleep Apnea

Tue, 23 Apr 2013 03:21:00 GMT

Do you struggle getting a good night’s rest? Do you feel anxious, stressed, and/or depressed? You may be experiencing a sleep disorder. It is estimated that one in fifteen Americans have sleep apnea. Sleep apnea is when the airway in the body is obstructed and then breathing is compromised. When this happens, the body does not achieve the deepest levels of sleep. This can lead to a laundry list of problems including depression, anxiety, high blood pressure, suppressed immune system, weight gain, and even cancer and diabetes.

Sleep apnea often goes undetected. How can you find out of you have sleep apnea? The first person you can talk to is your dentist. A common indicator of sleep apnea is teeth grinding. Your dentist can look for signs that you are grinding. Then make an appointment with a sleep specialist. They can give your diagnosis. (For more information, read the article - Dental Screening That Could Save Your Life)

Getting good sleep is vital to healthy living. One of my clients was experiencing psychosis and when he got help for his sleep apnea, he regained his normal healthy self. As a psychologist I always check the physical health issues of my clients to make sure I am treating the right problem. The mind and body are interconnected and in order to experience overall well-being, we must look at the both areas. If you are looking to improve the quality of your sleep, don't delay in seeking assistance! It will make a difference.

Be Alert to Recognize and Treat Phobias

Wed, 17 Apr 2013 05:09:00 GMT

After tragedy strikes like it did yesterday at the Boston marathon, it is normal to feel fearful. It's a natural and healthy reaction to certain situations and at times can serve as a valuable protection. What isn't healthy is when that natural fear becomes a phobia.

Even if were are not directly involved in a tragic event, it is easy to still feel it. All we have to do is turn on the TV or go online and we see the horrific images and it immediately touches us. We place ourselves there and think about how we would have felt and reacted to the situation. What individuals have to be careful of is turning those natural feelings into irrational thoughts and feelings. Irrational thinking is what triggers phobias.

What is irrational thinking? When thoughts become exaggerated and illogical. The next step is for a phobia to set in. Phobias are serious and can handicap your life. The good news is that phobias are treatable. Lengthy therapy delving into the origin of the fear response is often unnecessary. Effective methods include t herapies that focus on treating the symptoms are the most effective. Deep relaxation, systematic desensitization and “flooding” are all behavioral techniques that have proven remarkably effective with phobias.

If you are feeling any of these symptoms, do not delay is seeking practical assistance. For more information, visit Conquering Fears and Phobias.

5 Mothers and Their Fight Against Autism

Fri, 12 Apr 2013 20:26:00 GMT

With autism statistics rising, a group of five courageous mothers are taking note of the disorder and how it is affecting African American and Hispanic children in the United States. Colored My Mind is a non-profit organization whose mission "is to educate, enlighten, and empower parents whose children are on the ASD spectrum throughout communities nationwide."

The founders of Colored My Mind are working hard to see that minorities are receiving practical assistance when it comes to treatment and diagnoses for ASD children. Many in the African American and Hispanic community struggle getting health care and special education for their AS child and sadly some have dealt with negative racial bias. The goal is to educate all people regardless of race and nationality. Their story will appears in a documentary entitled, Colored My Mind, and will show at The Cannes Film Festival in May 2013.

To learn more about this organization and the work they are doing to bring much need awareness about autism, visit Colored My Mind.

Encouraging Independence in a Family Firm

Thu, 11 Apr 2013 02:40:00 GMT

If you are an entrepreneurial couple with children, are you looking to grow into a family firm? If you want to include your children in the business, then there are a few vital things to keep in mind. There are two goals. One is to develop a thriving business. The second is to develop healthy independent adults who can contribute to society.

Most of us cherish the responsibility of parenting and are reluctant to give it up when the children leave home. In family firms where children may never leave the “nest” so to speak, the parenting role may continue indefinitely. How do you encourage independence for your child when they never really leave? There are a variety of strategies for ensuring that the second generation in family firms really grow up. The strategy that fits for you depends upon the business, the parents’ skills and personality and the skills and personalities of the children.

The child needs an environment where they must prove themselves capable of leadership in the family business. For some this means leaving the business for awhile and working elsewhere. For others, it means getting an education before returning to the family business. Another child may benefit by working their way up from the "mailroom" with no preferential treatment from the parents. Finally, some children will be better family members and more capable adults if they never return to the family business.

You must keep in mind that the business can be successful without the child and the child can be successful without the business. That is, set your sights on accomplishing both goals independent of each other, and you may be surprised how they come together in the long run. For more information, visit Entrepreneurial Life - Families in Business.

New Research on Genetics and Mental Disorders

Thu, 04 Apr 2013 18:02:00 GMT

What does autism, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, depression, and ADHD have in common? Genetics! New research says that these disorders share multiple "genetics glitches" that can move the brain toward mental illness. For a disease to actually develop would depend on additional environmental and genetic factors. Keep in mind that this involves hundreds of genes and variations. (Read the article for the latest research - 5 Disorders Share Genetic Risk Factors, Study Finds)

I found this research astounding! The wealth of research that is pouring in has the power to transform how we think and feel about these disorders and how they affect the people we love. On April 20, 2013, the Asperger Syndrome: Partners and Family of Adults with ASD will be meeting to discuss "Using Research as Therapy." Knowledge is power. Ignorance is oppressive. Let's use the wealth of data that is coming out of ivory tower labs and use it to heal our hearts and minds.

If you are not able to make it in person, please join us as an online member.

Human Connection - A Lost Art?

Mon, 01 Apr 2013 21:50:00 GMT

How would you answer this question – Are people today more in tune with people or electronics? The answer is obvious when you look around you. You may be at a party, grocery store, doctor’s office and people everywhere are connected to their phones. Electronic devices offer many valuable services, but they can also cause some biological damage.

Barbara L. Fredrickson is a professor of psychology at the University of North Carolina, Chapel Hill contributed a fascinating article to the New York Times about this very subject. Fredrickson highlights the biological science between the brain-heart connection. The bottom line is that we need to exercise our ability to connect with others. If we focus on building human connections, our physical health improves. That's a win-win!

In the article, Fredrickson comments, "When you share a smile or laugh with someone face to face, a discernible synchrony emerges between you, as your gestures and biochemistries, even your respective neural firings, come to mirror each other. It’s micro-moments like these, in which a wave of good feeling rolls through two brains and bodies at once, that build your capacity to empathize as well as to improve your health. If you don’t regularly exercise this capacity, it withers."

Let's work hard to build a human connection. If we don't, we might just lose it!

Mental Health Diagnosis Debate - You Don’t Have to be Sick to Get Better

Wed, 27 Mar 2013 17:58:00 GMT

Sadness or depression? Common question, but mixed responses. Many are beginning to question the diagnosis of depression and mental illness. Some are claiming that doctors are too quick to prescribe medication and that medication is too often the first line of defense regardless of what the problem is whether it is clinical depression, mental illness, or life changes. The article, Are we over-diagnosing mental illness? provides an interesting look at the claims of the skeptics and the response of the medical community.

Life changing events (death, illness, divorce) can lead to moments of sadness, grief, and frustration. Learning to effectively sift and sort through feelings and emotions is a vital part of coping with these emotions. You do not have to be clinically depressed or suffering from a mental illness to seek out psychotherapy. In fact, by being more proactive about your mental health you can often head off problems before they take root in your life.

Medication, although often necessary, should not be considered the first and only treatment option, especially in the case of grief and life changes. Psychotherapy is an effective wellness tool without harmful side effects. There are many psychotherapy options that are now available and have proven effective. To learn more about psychotherapy and overall mental wellness, visit Personal Growth - Psychotherapy Options.

Your Response to Addiction – Is It Codependency or Kindness?

Fri, 22 Mar 2013 20:47:00 GMT

When an individual becomes addicted to drugs, alcohol, or another unwise behavior, the remaining family members are faced with a decision – what do we do? Often times a codependent relationship ensues. Why? Because kindness and codependency are often confused.

The reason it is so easy to confuse kindness and co-dependency is that they are essentially the same behavior within different contexts. To be kind means to give unconditionally, to share, to show that you care for another person. When the giving, sharing and caring is reciprocated by a healthy individual, the condition is kindness. However, when the kindness is not reciprocated, when you find yourself giving and giving and giving, it may be co-dependency.

How can you stop this behavior? If you love someone who is in trouble, why can't you help them? The key word here is help. If you are doing all of the work toward solving a problem, what is the other person learning? If you stop helping in a co-dependent way, you may offer your loved one the chance to show you they can solve the problem themselves. A key lies in respect – if you respect your loved one, then trust that they can take responsibility for their faults and clean them up. In other words, show the chemically dependent person that you respect them enough to let them show you what they are made of. If they have the right stuff, they will clean up their own act. In fact, the very act of turning the problem back to the person who created it, frees both of you to take responsibility for your own actions.

So how do you tell the difference between co-dependence and kindness? Well, one feels bad and the other feels good. One covers up the real problem, while the other brings the problem to the surface. One destroys self-esteem, while the other encourages self-esteem. Since you have a choice, the choice seems pretty simple. Choose positive self-esteem, honesty in solving problems, and taking and giving appropriate responsibility for one's actions. However, if you sense that you can’t break the cycle of codependence on your own get help from a trusted mental health advisor.

For more information - visit Marriage Counseling - Breaking the Cycle of Codependence

Virtual Reality – Can It Make You More Empathetic?

Sun, 17 Mar 2013 23:43:00 GMT

I'm sure we would all agree that we would like the world we live in to be more empathetic. Empathy, compassion, and fellow feeling are not as common as they used to be. What can make the world more empathetic and altruistic? A possible solution may lie in the world of virtual reality.

Stanford University experimented with this theory. They created a virtual reality and gave the participants a mission – deliver insulin to a diabetic child in the city. One group was given super powers like Superman and were able to fly through the city. The other group were passengers in a helicopter. Afterward each participants was interviewed. The interview was a test to gauge empathy. During the interview, the interviewer "accidentally" dropped a cup of 15 pens. The idea behind this is to see how the participant responds. Who would act to assist picking up the pens? The group who pretended to be Superman responded quicker and picked up more pens than the group who rode in the helicopter. In fact a few who rode in the helicopter didn't even respond and did not pick up any pens.

What does all of this mean? According Jeremy Bailenson, one of the experimenters and Associate Professor of Communication summed it up nicely. He said, "It's very clear that if you design games that are violent, peoples' aggressive behavior increases. If we can identify the mechanism that encourages empathy, then perhaps we can design technology and video games that people will enjoy and that will successfully promote altruistic behavior in the real world." To read more about this study, read the article - Stanford experiment shows that virtual superpowers encourage real-world empathy.

I know many parents are concerned that video games make their children more aggressive. It would be fantastic to see games that actually promoted healthy social interaction. Please visit the Parenting section of my website for more tips.