I hear people speak of their dreams of becoming an entrepreneur and owning their own successful business. It sounds like an exciting and challenging new adventure. Making this type of decision is very serious.  Before deciding to take the big plunge, there are a few important things to consider to see if the entrepreneurial life will suit you.

1. If you want to be an entrepreneur you must think like an entrepreneur. In other words you must have a vision that is bigger even than your business idea. Your business is a part of your life, just like your marriage and your children. An entrepreneurial venture is a reflection of you, your values, your beliefs, your strengths and your faults. You must live and breathe the business, day and night, week in and week out.

 2. Recognize the commitment. With a hectic schedule, sometimes there is little time for personal relationships or their own health. But if kept in perspective the entrepreneur can find tremendous satisfaction in working at something he or she has created. Watching this creation grow, seeing it benefit his or her family, achieving a long dreamed of goal . . . all of this can be quite thrilling.

3. A supportive spouse is a MUST! The most successful entrepreneurs frequently have glowing praise for their spouses, the people without whom they could never have succeeded. So not only do you have to think like an entrepreneur, but your spouse needs to think like one too, or at least be open to supporting your vision.

4. Entrepreneurship is not for the feint of heart. It is a tremendous responsibility to recognize that every action you take is related to the business and to the people who depend upon that business, such as you, your family, your employees and customers. Decisions must be weighed very carefully and every move must be analyzed  to reduce the risk as much as possible.

If you believe you have what it takes to be an entrepreneur, ask yourself if you can do the tedious work of integrating your every move and decision into the template of a business venture. True entrepreneurs don't even realize that they think this way. It is just natural for them to be whole-brained thinkers, with their heads in the future, but their feet firmly planted in the present. Visit my website for more information on the Entrepreneurial Life.

I was intrigued by a recent article in The Wall Street Journal, New Light on the Plight of Winter Babies. It discussed an interesting new study on the strong similarities in children born in the winter months. Statistically, there are significant findings that babies born during the winter have poorer health, school performance and career prospects. For all the details on this study, I recommend reading the article. Hearing these types of statistics can be jolting, but it is important to remember that there are always exceptions to the statistics. Just because the numbers point to something, they do not always factor in key individual differences. The positive side of this type of information is that it sheds light on potential problems that may not have been as recognizable before. As a parent, it can be challenging to keep up with the ever-changing needs of your children. If you think your child is struggling, for whatever reason, you might benefit from visiting a family therapist. For more information on parenting effectively, visit my website or contact my office for more information.

I have written a lot about the impact of Asperger Syndrome (AS) on a marriage – particularly from the perspective of the spouse of someone with Asperger's. It's very clear that the spouse will be affected and self-care is vital. (See previous blog - Self Care Vital When You Live With A Partner With Asperger Syndrome.) You may be wondering if the same principle applies when it comes to a child with an Asperger sibling. The answer is YES! It can be especially challenging for a child to deal with their AS sibling. With the AS child’s limited social interactions, lack of emotional reciprocity, and preoccupation with him or herself or a particular task, can make playing with siblings extremely difficult. This could lead the non AS child to feel confused and frustrated . . . even depressed. As always though, there are practical steps that parents can take to help both children. Here are some helpful tips: 1. Spend one-on-one time with your child. The AS child can suck a lot of your time and energy possibly making the other child feel neglected. Make sure you give them special time and attention. This is beneficial for both parent and child. Also, make sure that NT child has a well-rounded group of playmates. It is important that they have balance when it comes to fun and recreation. 2. Educate yourself and your child about Asperger Syndrome. This will help you both understand where the Asperger child is coming from. It will also help the NT child to develop compassion for their AS sibling rather than grow resentful. My book, Life with a Partner or Spouse with Asperger Syndrome: Going Over the Edge?, was written to assist the spouse of someone with Asperger's, but I also recommend it for parents with Asperger children. I have received positive feedback from parents who have read it and found principles that apply also to dealing with their children. (See previous blog - Unexpected Feedback on My New Book - Going Over the Edge?) Another good resource is The Parenting Aspergers Blog - http://parentingaspergers.com/blog/. 3. Counseling from a mental health care professional. There is nothing negative about taking your child to receive extra assistance to help them cope with their sibling. In psychotherapy they can learn specific tools, build self confidence, and also have a safe environment to share their thoughts and feelings. If you live in the Portland, OR/Vancouver, WA area, feel free to contact my office for more information.

I am always touched to read a positive story about someone with Asperger Syndrome. Fortunately, I keep coming across more and more. The recent article in USA Today, Surfer Marzo rides the waves of the ocean and autism, was a great example. It is the story of Clay Marzo, a 20 year old surf prodigy from Hawaii. In 2007, Clay was diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome (AS). Instead of looking at Asperger Syndrome as a hindrance, it was the gift that has made Clay one of the most incredible surfers in modern times. Jaime Tierney directed a surf film about Clay and was actually the one who recognized that Clay might have AS. He said, "Clay is so good because he has Asperger's, not in spite of it. His level of focus in the wave is incredible, he makes instant natural connections with the water, something very few people have." Of course, living with Asperger's or living with someone with Asperger's is no walk in the park, however it's important to remember that the way we choose to look at something will change the way we feel about it. Yes, Clay Marzo may have an abrasive personality and connecting with him may be difficult, but you can choose to focus on his talent, devotion, and creativity. I’m sure we will continue to hear more about Clay in the near future. I also encourage becoming familiar with the symptoms of Asperger Syndrome. If we are able to understand more about it, we will grow to be more appreciative of what people with AS have to offer. Please read my Frequently Asked Questions about Asperger's.

Happiness…we all want it, but it sure is hard to find sometimes.  Some even call happiness elusive.  Maybe, however, we are just not looking at the problem from the right perspective.  Could it be that we are happy but just don’t know it?

Research is now discovering (yes, they had to do a study to find this out) that most people are so focused on their future, the “big picture”, that they are often blinded to small moments of happiness, such as the goodness in kind things that people are doing for them, as well as the beauty that surrounds them right outside their window.  It is an easy pitfall for entrepreneurs who seem naturally to look at the “big picture” in order to move forward with their goals.

Here are some suggestions to help experience happiness on a daily basis:

· Focus on small moments during the day that give pleasure · Cultivate positive emotions · Build resources that help you rebound · Be open and flexible · Savor the good, regardless of how small it may seem

As one practices these suggestions in their lives, they will discover that their overall mood is elevated and there is more resilience to negative events.  In turn, such appreciation for small moments will enhance our “big picture” by promoting success in jobs, relationships, and even health outcomes.   It seems that happiness isn’t all that hard to find after all.

For more information, access the study in the journal Emotion, or read the book written by Barbara Fredrickson, the lead author of the study, entitled Positivity:  Groundbreaking Research Reveals How to Embrace the Hidden Strength of Positive Emotions, Overcome Negativity and Thrive, published by Crown Publishing, 2009.

Two new government studies indicate about 1 in 100 American children have autism disorders – which is significantly higher than a previous US estimate of one in 150. One of the studies, published in the journal Pediatrics by researchers at the Health Resources and Services Administration, reports that one in every 91 children ages 3 to 17 have such a disorder, as determined by a survey of 78,000 parents. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention is announcing their not-yet published results of a study that finds about one in 100 8-year-olds has an autism spectrum disorder, or ASD.

 

Researchers don’t know how much of the increase is a result of more frequent and earlier diagnoses and how much is a result of a real rise in the conditions. The Pediatrics paper discusses several possible explanations for the apparent increase in ASD diagnoses including a broader definition of autism disorders and a heightened awareness on the part of parents and doctors. Tom Insel, director of the National Institute of Mental Health, said in a news conference: "The concern here is that buried in these numbers is a true increase." Insel noted that President Obama wants to increase spending on autism research by the National Institutes of Health by 16% — a bigger increase than in any other area of NIH research.

 

 England just recently released their first study of adults with autism. Apparently the findings confirm that ASD is just as common in adults as it is in children. Researchers at the University of Leicester, found that roughly 1 in 100 adults are on the spectrum — the same rate found for children in England. In fact, researchers found no significant differences in autism prevalence among people they surveyed in their 30s, 40s, 50s, right up through their 70s! Yet, as we know, the adult population with ASD is definitely under-diagnosed and therefore underserved.

 

In families that share family and business, it is easy for their time to be taken up by the essentials of daily living.  It can become a work-and-little-play situation.  If this scenario sounds all too familiar, think about balancing out the family by incorporating volunteering into your family’s lifestyle.  What? You have no time, you say?  Well, consider what family volunteering can do for you and your family, before you conclusively make up your mind.

Family volunteering produces quality time.  This includes:

•      Establishing common bonds while helping others. 

•      Discovering new knowledge about each other. 

•      Mutual respect as demonstrating skills and learning new ones are processed. 

•      Deeper and meaningful conversations around the dinner table.

Convinced, but need help getting started?  Call a family meeting and take time to consider this whole idea. Make sure everyone, no matter how young, participates in the discussion. You might want to proceed this way:

•      Explore and list current volunteer efforts.

•      Everyone has a community concern.  Discuss each person’s concern.

•      Consider the possibilities and efforts involved.  Be realistic in determining how much time and effort the family can afford.

To arrive at the best volunteering scenario for your family may require several family meetings, but if you are looking for meaningful and quality time together, this time will be well spent. A one-time activity may be a good place to start. Perhaps look close to home for an opportunity, such as raking leaves for an elderly neighbor.  This will provide an opportunity to see how everyone likes volunteering together.

Show your children that volunteer work is important and meaningful by taking your commitment seriously. Even when things are hectic, keep the commitment alive by talking and planning. Think about how this experience will enable you to pass along your legacy of values and ethics to your children, giving them not only an important example, but wonderful family memories as well.