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Kathy Marshack News

Benefits to Forgiving and Forgetting

Monday, March 12, 2012


It is an understatement to say that at some point in life, someone will hurt you. Whether or not it’s intentional, it will happen and probably many times over. Because of this reality, forgiveness is a necessary part of life. It is not only beneficial when it comes to relationships with others, but it also has many physical and emotional benefits. When you forgive, you’re not just giving to the offending party, but giving to yourself.

What are some of the benefits that come from truly forgiving:

  • Anger, bitterness, and resentment will lessen
  • Lower stress levels and blood pressure
  • Stronger immune system
  • Less back pain, headaches, and stomach aches

These benefits don’t just come with forgiveness. Forgiveness must be accompanied with forgetting. What do I mean by forgetting? It doesn't mean to literally forget. That might just be impossible. What is does mean is that you graciously forgive by choosing not to recall the incident to mind along with the negative feelings of resentment. Simply, you must learn to let it go! This sounds much easier than it truly is, but it is possible.

One way to cultivate forgiveness is by working to build up the quality of gratitude. Doing so will help you to see what is good in yourself and in others. Also, is there a lesson that can be learned from the incident that caused you pain? Focus on what kind of person and quality you can develop. Overtime, this will help you be a stronger more confident person.

There are times when psychotherapy might be necessary to help with the process of forgiving and forgetting. This is especially true when abuse, abandonment, or other serious issues have occurred. There is no shame in looking to a professional who is equipped with the right tools to get you on track to a becoming a forgiving individual. If you are looking for a therapist in the Portland, Oregon or Vancouver, Washington area, please contact my office to set up an appointment.

Stress Management is also an important tool when it comes to forgiveness. Click here for more information.


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