In a relationship, forgiveness is one of the keys to success. When you are in a
relationship with someone with Asperger Syndrome, whether they are a partner or family member, forgiveness is a
struggle. Even though you may have a forgiving nature, somehow forgiving our AS
adults may not feel healing. There is still something missing.
In May, I had the pleasure of hearing Dr. Janis Abrahms Spring speak at the
Oregon Psychological Association meeting. She brought up an interesting point
about the issue of forgiveness stating that there cannot be genuine forgiveness
in a relationship unless there is full cooperation of the "offending"
party. You can come to some acceptance and that is healing for you but there is
still that hole that can only be filled when both parties process the hurt.
Dr. Abrahms Spring wrote a fantastic book entitled, How Can I Forgive You? The Courage to Forgive and the Freedom to Not. I
highly recommend reading it especially if forgiveness is an issue in your life.
On June 19th, our Asperger
Syndrome: Partners and Family of Adults with ASD, held in Portland, Oregon,
will be discussing this very troubling concept of reclaiming our lives when
there is no apology, no empathic request for forgiveness, no acceptance of our
offers of apology and no connecting over the shared hurt. There are answers and
in our group sharing we will discover them. Visit our Meetup
page for more information.
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Comments
I read your book 'Going Over the Edge' cover to cover and found it the best book I read on the subject. Your blog entry above really touched a nerve in me because this is where my struggle at the moment with my husband. I wish I could join your group but I live in Los Angeles.
Is there any way I can somehow get hold of 'the answer', as you say? I can offer to pay you something.
Thanks,
Nij Noey