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Kathy Marshack News

Do You Bicker with Your Spouse?

Wednesday, October 06, 2010


Is bickering all too common in your household? Granted, conflicts will arise in a marriage, but it is important to get bickering under control. If you don't, then you could be heading down the road to divorce. It may be difficult at first to change the way you handle these types of conflict. It is important to remember that effort is required!

Here are a few tips to resolve bickering:

1. Remember that the differences between the two of you are probably some of the reasons that made you fall in love with each other.
You probably didn't focus at the time on everything that you didn't like about your new love. In fact, you may have never noticed anything that big, but instead viewed those differences as thrilling. But over time, the differences between the two of you surface more and more often. One way to get past the bickering is to remind yourself that you love and admire this person. Focus on those qualities, not the behavior that annoys you.

2. Keep in mind that people change.
Our basic personalities probably don't change that much, but how we apply our personalities to the experiences in life does shape and define us. Your spouse may be showing you a side of him or herself that you never knew existed. Be careful not to resist this new information because it is different. Give yourself time to adjust to the change. Talk about it with your spouse. Change may be painful, but it is the very nature of living things to change.

3. Spend quality time together.
In this day and age, it is easy to be all consumed with work and leave little time with your spouse. Think about it. If you are bickering with your spouse, could it be because you have had no quality time lately? Or could it be because you are sleep-deprived? Or could it be that it's been a long time since you laughed? Take the time to set your priorities and follow them. There will always be another phone call to answer and another deadline to meet that will draw you away from balancing your priorities. But you don't get that many chances to restore a faltering relationship.

If you find that you cannot get your bickering under control, it may be time to seek the help from a marriage counselor. There may be other underlying problems that need to be dealt with. Click here for more information about Marriage Counseling. If you’re an “entrepreneurial couple” you can get specific communication advice in my book – Entrepreneurial Couples: Making It Work at Work and at Home.


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