Conflict is a given in any relationship, but especially in the marriage arrangement. Two different people merging their lives into one. Everyone knows that in order for a marriage to stay strong, communication is vital. One area that communication is especially necessary is when there is a conflict. The problem is that this is the time when communication shuts down.

One of the major reasons couples have problems is their failure to confront issues head-on. They may fight openly or quietly seethe, but they have a terrible time confronting the real conflict respectfully and honestly. Maybe this happens because of the common misconception that conflict and confrontation are bad. It’s as if confrontation and conflict are impolite. However, conflict and confrontation are natural and healthy components of any relationship.

You are neither bad nor wrong for causing a conflict or identifying one. Conflict is an opportunity to open up communication on a difficult subject. Conflicts are inevitable and actually a sign of growth. Therefore, avoiding conflict is not the goal. Rather you want to develop the tools to "lean into" conflicts and resolve them early on, so that you can reorganize your lives to include the new learning.

If you are and your partner need help to learn and develop the right type of communication skills, seek out the assistance of a marriage counselor or therapist. Isn't your relationship worth fighting for?

For more information, visit Marriage Counseling - Conflict and Communication.