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Kathy Marshack News

How to Support a Loved One Whose Depressed

Monday, November 29, 2010


Depression is an illness that affects millions of Americans every year. Most likely you know someone who is dealing with depression. It can be very difficult to support your depressed loved one and  it can even take a toll on your emotional state.

If you have a loved one who is depressed, here are a few things that you can do:

Educate Yourself - Like any type of illness, it is important to educate yourself about it. Knowledge is very powerful. Once you have learned about what they are dealing with, you will be more equipped to support them. Be alert to symptoms and any changes in their behavior.

Know Your Role - You must acknowledge that depression is an illness and you can't cure it! Do not be the hero and strive to fix the problem or even sound like you are the authority on the matter. Your role is to be supportive and sincere. You want to gain their trust not turn them away.

Don't Withdraw - As humans, we have the tendency to remove ourselves from people who are depressed because they are trying to withdraw or isolate themselves from us. As hard as it may be to stick around, it is exactly what they need. They may tell you that they don't need anyone, but they do. This is going to take a lot of persistence on your part, but isolation is detrimental to a depressed person. Remember that this behavior is not personal, it is the illness speaking.

Listen - Let your loved one talk. They may share things that are disturbing like self-injury or suicide, but it is better for you to know these feeling so you can use that information to protect them. Also, ask questions to draw them out.

Be Proactive - Don't say, "If there is anything I can do, let me know." Guess what...they won't. Take a proactive approach. Think of something specific that you can do for them and offer that instead. If you find that they are in serious danger, do something. You may have to push them to the doctor or even go to the hospital. They may be angry at you, but that is not an excuse to let them do something dangerous. You may have to get other people involved to help you.

Take Care of Yourself - As a caregiver, it is vital that you take care of yourself. You can't help your loved one if you are tapped out. Be balanced with yourself!

Helping someone overcome depression will not be an easy journey, but it is well worth your while. Be patient. In time your loved one will appreciate all your love and consideration in their behalf. For more information, visit Overcoming Depression. If you need help to overcome your own depression or support a family member with their situation and live in the Portland, Oregon or Vancouver, Washington area, please contact my office.


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