Have you ever noticed that your Aspie friend or family member sounds like Mr. Spock when they’re sharing their feelings? So unattached and impersonal. Why is that? It’s because people with Asperger’s Syndrome have a disconnect between cognitive empathy and emotional empathy. Many also have Alexithymia, which contributes to a disconnect between understanding their own feelings and finding words to tell us what they’re feeling.

In addition to that, Aspies also have developed a belief system as a result of living in a world where others make no sense. For example, have you noticed how they draw a conclusion based on one experience and hold to it forever, no matter how much you plead with them that it’s no longer true?

Another confusing element is when they’re trying to chit-chat but can't remember any important information about the person they’re talking to…as if this is their first encounter? They could be talking to your aunt or the next door neighbor and be totally clueless.

It's like a primary school child who is learning to read and only sounds at the words. By third and fourth grade most children are starting to gather information from their reading, not just dutifully reading words on the page. Our Aspies seem stuck in first grade when it comes to social interaction. They have a few basic rules of engagement but haven't mastered the depth of connecting with others.

Some of you may not care why they say the strangest things, or you may have given up trying to translate. However, some of you are still trying to understand the unfathomable logic and language of our Aspies. I actually think the key to our mental health comes from understanding their disability just a little bit better. This enables us to detach and not take so seriously the odd, hurtful and sometimes mean things they say.

If you’re a member of our Asperger Syndrome: Partners & Family of Adults with ASD Meetup, be sure to register for the October Video Conference: Why do Aspies say the strangest things? There are still opening for this low-cost, hour-long session on either Wednesday, October 11, 2017 at 3:00 PM PDT or Thursday, October 26, 2017 at 9:00 AM PDT. Please bring your questions about this phenomenon. I bet you have insights too.

Would you rather have a one-on-one session with me? If you live near Portland, OR/Vancouver, WA please contact my Jantzen Beach office and schedule an appointment. Or if it’s more convenient, I also offer online therapy.