CONTACT MY OFFICE:
(503) 222-6678 - Portland, Oregon
(360) 256-0448 Vancouver, Washington
   info@kmarshack.com

Therapy

ADD & ADHD
ADOPTIVE FAMILIES
ASPERGER & MARRIAGE
COUPLES IN BUSINESS
DEPRESSION & STRESS
ENTREPRENEURIAL LIFE
EXPAT ONLINE THERAPY
HIGH CONFLICT DIVORCE
MARRIAGE COUNSELING
MIND & BODY HEALTH
PARENTING
PERSONAL GROWTH
RECOMMENDED LINKS
NEWS CENTER
ONLINE STORE
Overview
ADD in Adults
Parenting a Child with ADD
Overview
Articles
Overview
Coping with Anxiety Disorders
Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder
Overcoming Depression
Managing Stress
Conquering Fears & Phobias
Overcoming Social Phobia
Overview
Couples at Work & Home
Dual Career Couples
Families in Business
Overview
Recognizing High Conflict Divorce
Overview
Conflict & Communication
Infidelity
Couples at Work & Home
Love, Sex & Intimacy
Maintaining Strong Marriage
Dual Career Couples
Codependence
Advice for Singles Only
Overview
Alcoholism Recovery
Stop Smoking
Weight Control
Headache Relief
Holistic Health
Managing Blood Pressure
Releasing Unresolved Stress
Overview
Am I a Good Parent
Blended Families
Gifted Child
Coping with ADD/ADHD
Adoptive Families
Overview
Gifted Adults
When to Seek Help
Psychotherapy Options
Laid-Off from Work
Overview
Calendar of Events
Media Coverage
Newsletter
Press Center
Seminars
Related New Stories
Subscribe
Sample
Enriching Your Live Archive
Entrepreneurial Couples Archive

Enriching Your Life!

Sign up for my FREE newsletter! Get practical tips for you and your family.

Kathy Marshack News

How to Turn Adversities into Transformational Experiences

Monday, April 16, 2018


After an adversity or challenging situation, we’re often advised to “give it some time, and you’ll bounce back.” But I’d like to challenge you. Rather than being satisfied with “bouncing back,” learn to use your setbacks as opportunities to grow and make a difference in the lives of those around youIt’s inevitable. At some point, you will face challenging circumstances. In that moment, it will feel like life is crumbling around you…that you’ll never be happy again. Reassuringly, that’s part of a normal process. The big decision in that moment is how are you going to handle it? Will you retreat, hang on, or blaze ahead?

We’re often advised to “give it some time, and you’ll bounce back.” But I’d like to challenge you. Rather than being satisfied with “bouncing back,” learn to use your setbacks as opportunities to grow and make a difference in the world around you.

How can you turn adversity into a transformational experience? It calls for developing resiliency and fully participating in the following six stages. (Remember, there are no shortcuts.)

1. Build a comfort zone. We all establish systems for life…what we eat, how we dress, when we exercise, how we pay our bills and so much more. During the calm, we need to mindfully build a safe space that gives us the courage to face the world.

2. Experience disruption. It is gut wrenching to face adversities. That’s normal and natural. The key is to fully engage with your emotions, without trying to block them out. Everyone feels discomfort and pain at this stage. It doesn’t help to pretend everything is all right.

3. Feel out of control. For a time, you’ll struggle to make sense of your new situation. If you’re not careful, you might start retreating from life, drowning your feelings in non productive ways, like mindless TV watching or substance abuse. You may go through denial and grief, as you come to grips with your new reality. It’s important to be kind to yourself, allowing yourself to adjust. Reach out to others for a dispassionate point of view, which will help you guard against overdramatizing or imagining what’s not real.

4. Shaken loose. Eventually something happens, or someone says or does something, that shakes you out of your despair. You see that life isn’t over. New ideas flood your mind. You let go of the life you had before and begin embracing the life you have now.

5. Embrace your new reality. At this stage you’ll experiment with your new sense of identity and place in the world. Try to learn new skills and activities that push your boundaries.

6. Establish a new comfort zone. You’ll reach a point where everything is okay again. But instead of settling in, this is where the challenge enters: use your new found knowledge and understanding to help others.

Personally, the adversities I’ve faced have brought me to serving the NT/AS community. They are also moving me to reach out to those who are suffering at the hands of unscrupulous individuals. That’s why I wrote my new book, “WHEN EMPATHY FAILS.” By reading it, you’ll learn my story and the lessons I’ve learned along the way. I encourage you to download the first chapter for free.



Recent Posts RSS


Tags


Archive