Social anxiety, difficulty communicating, and lack of eye contact are all things that someone with Asperger Syndrome has to deal with. It is like a heavy weight that they carry with them wherever they go. So, the question is, what can help such ones improve their "skills"?

Love to Know - Autism had a really interesting article about how computer programs can benefit those with Asperger Syndrome. It highlighted that computer programs are now available to assist those with Asperger Syndrome to develop skills that do not come naturally to them such as eye contact, improving memory, and problem solving. (Please read the article to see the full list of benefits and a list of computer software for this purpose.)

A word of caution though, if you choose this route of additional therapy, keep in mind that computers have no emotion. These types of programs should not be a replacement for companionship, but rather a training ground. If your loved one has Asperger's, seek out treatment for them from a mental health care professional who is skilled in the field of Autism Spectrum Disorders. Visit my website for more information about Asperger Syndrome Support.

I’m also writing a new book, “Parenting with a Spouse or Partner with Asperger Syndrome: Out of Sight, Out of Mind”. It addresses the unique issues that come up when you’re co-parenting with an Aspie partner. Click here to download a free sample chapter.

It’s been estimated that 40-80% of children who are diagnosed with an autism spectrum disorder (ASD) will have problems sleeping. This is a major concern as it can contribute to behavioral problems during the day. When your child isn’t sleeping well, he or she is more likely to be hyperactive, irritable, and aggressive. This puts the physical and emotional well-being of the child at risk.

If your child is not sleeping, then it means that you are not sleeping either – which is going to impact how you are dealing with your child's behavior. If this situation sounds familiar, here are a few things you can do to try to help your child get a good night’s rest:

1. Keep a sleep diary. By keeping a daily record of the day and night, it might help you to discern if there are things that are causing a night of poor sleep.

2. Foods that are a stimulate – like sugar and caffeine – should be avoided before bedtime.

3. Entertainment that can be stimulating should also be avoided. Instead of television or computer time, try something soothing and relaxing like reading a story or a light massage. Also keep the house quiet.

4. Start a bedtime routine and stick to it.

5. If problems persist, see your child's doctor.

A good night’s sleep is very valuable. You and your child deserve it. It may be a struggle to get it under control, but be patient. For more information, I recommend The National Autistic Society - Sleep and Autism - Helping Your Child.

Parenting a child with ASD, especially when your parenting with an ASD spouse, is no easy task. My new book “Parenting with a Spouse or Partner with Asperger Syndrome: Out of Sight, Out of Mind” addresses these issues. A free sample chapter is now available for download. Click here for more information.

I have written a lot about what it’s like being married to someone with Asperger Syndrome –  the many challenges you face daily. Now imagine what it’s like having a parent with Asperger Syndrome. This scenario is real and affects many children. So this leads us to wonder, what is life like for these children?

It is only realistic to expect that living with an Asperger parent will be a challenge. Many adults who were raised with an Aspie parent are now reporting severe depression and self-esteem problems because they lived with a parent who struggled to nurture them and get to know them. With a lack of warmth, tender affection, and communication, a child can feel emotionally rejected by their parent even though they may have all of their physical needs taken care of.

This is not to say that an Aspie parent does not love their child. That is far from the truth. But the communication and relationship deficits confuse the child and can lead to the child feeling unloved. Remember it is the child’s experience that defines the parenting, not whether the AS parent loves their child.

I am writing a new book entitled,  “Parenting with a Spouse or Partner with Asperger Syndrome: Out of Sight, Out of Mind." It addresses the unique issues that come up when you’re co-parenting with an Aspie partner. Click here to download a free sample chapter.

If you have a child who has an Aspie parent, I highly recommend seeking professional help from a mental health care specialist. For more information on Asperger Syndrome, visit Asperger Syndrome Frequently Asked Questions on my website.

Asperger Syndrome: Partner's & Family of Adults with ASD Support Group has been growing by leaps and bounds. Our meetings and Meetup page has become a place of comfort and support for those who have loved ones with ASD. So many times the focus is put on the one with ASD and with no support for their family, but that is now changing.

I recently received an post from a new member who joined to support her friend who is married to someone with ASD. Here is what she said, "Thank you for your welcome. I was happy to find this group as I was very much helped by your book, which I've passed on to my friends. They found it tremendously helpful. I am glad to find any discussion on these issues as those outside the situation find it pretty nigh impossible to understand the pain involved. I'm not married to an AS but my friend is."

The support group is not limited to those with family/partners of ASD, but also those who are friends to Neuro-typicals with Asperger partners. Many times the NT's feels like no one understands the pain that they are experiencing. This new member set a wonderful example of a supportive friend. I encourage anyone else in this situation to please join our support group meetings or Meetup page if you live outside of the Portland/Vancouver area.

My book Life with a Partner or Spouse with Asperger Syndrome: Going Over the Edge is available for purchase on my website or feel free to download the first chapter for free. This is also an excellent resource for friends to read to gain a greater appreciation for what their friends may be experiencing. Thank you to all of you who are taking the lead to help spread the word about Asperger Syndrome.

In a relationship, forgiveness is one of the keys to success. When you are in a relationship with someone with Asperger Syndrome, whether they are a partner or family member, forgiveness is a struggle. Even though you may have a forgiving nature, somehow forgiving our AS adults may not feel healing. There is still something missing.

In May, I had the pleasure of hearing Dr. Janis Abrahms Spring speak at the Oregon Psychological Association meeting. She brought up an interesting point about the issue of forgiveness stating that there cannot be genuine forgiveness in a relationship unless there is full cooperation of the "offending" party. You can come to some acceptance and that is healing for you but there is still that hole that can only be filled when both parties process the hurt.

Dr. Abrahms Spring wrote a fantastic book entitled, How Can I Forgive You? The Courage to Forgive and the Freedom to Not. I highly recommend reading it especially if forgiveness is an issue in your life.

On June 19th, our Asperger Syndrome: Partners and Family of Adults with ASD, held in Portland, Oregon, will be discussing this very troubling concept of reclaiming our lives when there is no apology, no empathic request for forgiveness, no acceptance of our offers of apology and no connecting over the shared hurt. There are answers and in our group sharing we will discover them. Visit our Meetup page for more information.

 
I continue to hear from many who wish that there were more avenues to spread the word about relationships with loved ones who have Asperger’s. I have also felt this way which prompted me to write my book, "Life with a Partner or Spouse with Asperger Syndrome: Going Over the Edge?" I recognize that many are unable to write a book to express their thoughts and feelings on the subject, but there are other ways to share.


There has been an amazing response after establishing the Asperger Syndrome: Partners & Family of Adults with ASD support group. The Meetup.com message board has become a place for many around the world, not just in the Portland area, to come and share their thoughts, stories, and essays. One particular article stirred up over 200 views. I would like to continue encouraging you to use this incredible resource to spread the word about ASD relationships.

Slowly but surely this topic is getting more attention. Take a look at a recent book review on "Going Over the Edge?" on About.com - http://learningdisabilities.about.com/od/parentsandfamilyissues/gr/Marshack.htm. I want to take this opportunity to thank you for your continued support. As a united front, we can spread the word about living with and loving our family members with Asperger Syndrome.

The idea of entering your sixties is often accompanied with dismay. For some though, turning sixty is welcomed. The difference boils down to your attitude, making the conscious decision to age gracefully.

It’s never too late to start your life over no matter how old you are. Turning sixty can be the perfect age to start over and do what you have always wanted to do with your life. With retirement and grown children, perhaps you’ve been allotted with the gift of time so take advantage of it. Don't take things too seriously, make sure to laugh along the way. Get moving and get involved. Find something you have always wanted to accomplish and do it!

I had the privilege of having one of my essays published in a wonderful book entitled, Sixty Things To Do When You Turn Sixty. Published in September 2006, this book of essays captures the imaginations of those Baby Boomers out there who are rounding the bend into their sixties. It is a positive and enlightening look at what turning sixty can be for those who choose to make something out of it.

I just learned that the Corvallis Public Library has Sixty Things To Do When You Turn Sixty available and it’s checked out regularly. If you are interesting in purchasing your own personal copy, please visit this page.

My book, "Life with a Partner or Spouse with Asperger Syndrome: Going Over the Edge?" has been gaining more international attention recently. This doesn’t surprise me because when I posted the first chapter on my website three years ago I received emails from readers around the world. I am thrilled to see that my book is more readily available to those outside the US.

For Europeans, Eurospan Bookstore has made Going Over the Edge? available for purchase on their website. The website includes the book forward by Stephen Shore, the introduction, the first three chapters, and the front and back cover.

If you live in India, Flipkart.com has added my book to their inventory. They ship throughout India, but you must pay in rupees.

I have added these links to the Asperger Syndrome Recommended Links on my website for future reference. I will continue to keep you posted on any more exciting updates!

When you are in a relationship with someone with Asperger Syndrome, you will experience ups and downs. This is not to say that the Aspie partner is to blame or is at “fault.” However, given that the core characteristics of Asperger Syndrome relate to communication, emotions, perspective taking and sensory issues, the very components upon which relationships are built, it is no wonder that misunderstanding and frustration often crop up in these relationships.

I was recently quoted in an article by Pam Mellskog of Longmont Time Calls Newspaper for an article on adult Asperger relationships. In the article she highlights the relationship of Miles and Eugenia. Miles has Asperger Syndrome. The couple discusses their issues with communication and the added influence of Asperger Syndrome in their relationship.

Mellskog recommends my book, Life with a Partner or Spouse with Asperger Syndrome: Going Over the Edge, as a book specifically designed to address communication issues in adult Asperger relationships. The book is unique in how it addresses the often “touchy” topics of sex, rage, divorce and shame. I share poignant anecdotes from individuals I’ve worked with over the years who have been in NT-Aspie relationships, including myself, giving a glimpse at the “inner workings” of these relationships. I’m glad to see that this important topic is getting more attention. To read the article in its entirety, visit TimesCalls.com - Love can prevail.

In honor of my daughter's graduation from high school and my birthday, I have planned a holiday to Greece in September. It is somewhere I have always wanted to visit and the time has finally arrived for it to become reality. While there, I have decided to visit the Greek Society for the Protection of Autistic People. While communicating with them to plan a visit, an interesting development arose. Prof. Sophia Bonanou of the Greek Society told me that they are working on acquiring books on autism in English and then translating them into Greek. I was then asked to send them a copy of my new book, Life with a Partner or Spouse with Asperger Syndrome: Going Over the Edge? Practical Steps for Saving You and Your Marriage, to be considered for translation. I'm still awaiting for their response on the book, but to know that there is a possibility for this information to reach more people is such an exciting thought. I'll continue to update you on new developments.