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How to Change the Conversation at Work to be More Positive

Wednesday, August 16, 2017


Two coworkers looking at a computer, shocked at the newsWe live in an increasingly negative world. Many people have told me they’ve stopped watching the news because they’re tired of all the negativity. Yet there are others who seem to thrive on the negative. It’s like they can’t wait for Monday to rehash all the bad news at work or to complain about their life to anyone who will listen. This negative outlook can be contagious and before you know it the entire workplace is infected!
 
The good news is that you can change the conversation at work to be more positive. And it’s worth the effort!
 
Positive thinking is linked to better health. In addition to better physical and emotional health, positivity can also impact your workplace for the better, whether you are a business owner or an employee. Optimism helps you to be solution-oriented. When you encounter a bump in the road, you don’t give up. Instead, you continue to search for a way around the problem, convinced that there is a solution.
 
No matter what your role in the business is, positivity in the workplace begins with how you choose to communicate. How can you cultivate a more positive way of speaking in the workplace? Take a look at these ideas:

  • Be aware of the way you describe certain situations and make a conscious effort to turn those comments into something more optimistic.

  • Focus less on the problem, and more on the solution. If no solution is obvious, focus on the fact there must be a solution somewhere and that you and your team are capable of discovering it.

  • Discuss the smaller, more manageable steps, you can take to solve a problem. What can you do right now, in this moment? It helps you and those you work with focus on what they can accomplish without getting overwhelmed.

  • Cultivate a more positive, meaningful start to conversations. If someone asks how you are, don’t lead with the negative (i.e. “I’m tired/hungry/anxious”). Tell them something good that has happened.

  • Show gratitude. Discuss things you are thankful for, big and small.

Interestingly, as you make the effort to make your conversations at work more positive, others will follow. We are often told to not bother trying to change people because it can’t be done. But that is far from the truth! We are changing people every day just as other people are changing us. As humans, we are constantly influenced by those around us. So don't get discouraged and think that your contribution of positivity isn't going to change the dynamics at work. You are more influential than you may think! Take the lead in conversations and guide them into positive territory.

 

Most of us have heard of how one small act of kindness can trigger a chain reaction. A similar thing happens when you choose to inject positivity into your daily conversations. It also triggers a chain reaction. You lead a conversation in a positive direction and the person you spoke with will be left with a positive feeling. It may take awhile and you won’t have 100% success, but if you stick with it you’ll see a shift towards more positive conversations in your workplace. Don’t give up!
 
Each day you experience hundreds of moments where you can choose to react in a positive way. It isn’t a matter of ignoring the negative in your life or work. It comes down to making a choice to not get stuck on the negative. Focus on the good in your life, and help those around you to choose to appreciate the good as well!
 
Are you convinced that you can change the dynamic in your workplace by being positive? Sometimes it can be challenging to be positive if you are dealing with a lot of internal or external stress. If you could use some help, please contact my office to set up an appointment.  I have an office in Jantzen Beach where we can meet in person or I offer online therapy if that’s a better fit for you.

Avoid a Crisis – How Entrepreneurs Can Be Proactive About Mental Health

Monday, August 14, 2017


Man in suit holding happy face signWhat kinds of qualities come to mind when you think of a successful entrepreneur? Are they creative, tenacious, self-sacrificing? What about depressed, anxious, or obsessive?

The same qualities that make a person a successful entrepreneur can also make them vulnerable to a host of mental health issues. Some issues like Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) and Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD) can, in the beginning, propel an entrepreneur to success. But there is a fine line between healthy and harmful.

Depression, anxiety, feelings of worthlessness, and a lack of motivation can arise and develop when entrepreneurs are overly focused on their business. Because entrepreneurs are driven to succeed, it is easy for them to push through tough times without pausing to evaluate if their negative feelings are part of a bigger issue that needs attention.

Do you find yourself paying little attention to the effect your schedule and lifestyle may be having on your mental health?

When you put your mental health on the back burner, you set yourself up for a mental health crisis later. If you neglect your physical health, you run the risk of disease, injury, or a traumatic event like a heart attack. Similarly, if you neglect your mental health, your brain and body will force you to slow down and take a break, but not in a manner that feels good for you or helps your business.

Wouldn’t it be better to be proactive about your mental health, caring for it before you experience a crisis? They key is to not wait until you’re broken. By waiting too long to take care of yourself, you’ll make it much harder to get back to where you want to be.

The good news is that you don’t have to be sick to get better. Here are four things you can do now to maintain good mental health and avoid a crisis later on:

  1. Care for your basic needs. As an entrepreneur, you work long hours. That’s a given. But prioritize sleep, healthy eating, exercise, and time with friends and family. Adequate sleep is absolutely vital to function at optimum levels. Eating good food gives your mind the nutrients it needs to make brilliant business decisions. Exercise relieves stress. Time spent with those you love keeps you balanced
  2. Simplify your life. The life of an entrepreneur is full of activity and decisions. Don’t make things harder than they need to be. Where you can simplify, do it. For you that may mean using a grocery delivery service or having limited wardrobe options to sort through each morning. Simplify as many things in your life as you can so that you can focus on the areas that will benefit most from your attention and creativity.
  3. Get help with the details. To make your vision succeed, there are a lot of teeny-tiny details to work out. Hire someone to help you. You have skills, but you are not skilled at everything. So outsource the things you need to. Let other people care for the details while you continue focusing on what you are best at.
  4. Hire a psychologist. People who regularly attend to their psychological health are not only stronger emotionally, but they are less prone to illness and experience a better sense of personal well-being. Engaging in psychotherapy enhances your analytical and intuitive abilities by utilizing the full range of your conscious and unconscious talents. It helps you take charge of your life.

If you’re ready to take a proactive stance, I can help you achieve strong mental health so you can grow your business and succeed as an entrepreneur. Please contact my office. I have an office in Jantzen Beach, and I also offer online therapy if that works best for your lifestyle

Women Entrepreneurs – Are You Afraid of Tooting Your Own Horn?

Monday, July 24, 2017


Business woman at meetingLook! The incredible invisible woman! She runs a successful company, has great friends and a loving family, but no one really hears about it. In spite of her accomplishments, she fades into the background by never taking true ownership of all the amazing things she has done.
 
Does that sound familiar? Do you find yourself deflecting attention, downplaying your accomplishments, or not taking full credit for your ideas?
 
I’ll give you an example of what I’m talking about. I was speaking with a married couple who ran a business together. I asked them to tell me their official business titles. Although the wife had started the business five years before the husband joined her, she told me she was a “Sales Associate.” The husband’s answer? He called himself the “Vice President.”
 
There was nothing wrong with what the wife said. She was an associate in the business, and she sold the product. But she did not own the fact that she ran a successful business.
 
Why don’t women give themselves the credit they deserve? A number of factors contribute to this tendency. From childhood girls are taught to work together, to build a community, to support others, all without being taught how to communicate about their accomplishments. Boys are usually encouraged to talk about personal goals and achievements, but that lesson often gets forgotten when raising girls.
 
Women also tend to fear being known as “not nice.” They avoid saying or doing things that could be viewed as aggressive or selfish. Unfortunately, when a woman touts her successes, it is often seen as bragging. So they put their ideas and victories in the background, not talking about them or even acknowledging them. When they do talk about their accomplishments, it is generally framed as a group achievement rather than an individual achievement.
 
Why should you learn to more effectively communicate about your accomplishments? Here are four reasons:

  1. Your business will grow. Leveraging your success and accomplishments is one of the best ways to continue to build your business. 
  2. Your relationships with your employees will improve. Resentment develops when you feel you are not being recognized. This resentment does not go unnoticed, and can lead to strained relationships with those around you. When you allow yourself to be recognized and appreciated, your relationships will benefi
  3. Other people will benefit. Did you ever think that concealing your true self deprives other people of your talents? It does! When others see who you really are and what you have and can accomplish, they can truly appreciate you and benefit by your talents. It also gives people a chance to rejoice with you in your success. Let others be happy for you – it will bring them joy, too.
  4. You invest in yourself. By expressing your accomplishments, you remind yourself and others of your worth. You will surround yourself with people who appreciate you instead of people who need you to appreciate them. This creates an energizing flow between people, just as wealth invested creates more wealth.

Don’t be afraid to talk about the amazing things you have done. The world needs what you have to offer, so learn to communicate about you effectively! If you could use some help getting past social barriers to promote yourself in the best way possible, please contact my office. I have an office in Jantzen Beach, and I also offer online therapy if that works best for your busy schedule.

Entrepreneurs – Nurture Your Creativity Even If You’re Not “Creative”

Wednesday, July 19, 2017


Nurture Your Creativity Even If You’re Not “Creative” How would you describe the creative process? Difficult, isn’t it? The very concept of creativity, coming up with something innovative and original, makes something as structured as a “process” sound counterintuitive.

Perhaps you don't feel like you’re very creative. Maybe you see yourself as the practical problem-solver, the roll-up-your-sleeves kind of person…

The thing is you don’t have to be an eccentric or an artist in order to be creative. And as a business owner, it would be a mistake to assign the task of creativity to others because of a perceived lack of creativity on your part. What if all it took was hard work, determination and time?

You are probably more creative than you give yourself credit. Creativity is at the foundation of entrepreneurship. The ability of an entrepreneur to generate new ideas that have practical, real-world application is the foundation of countless business start-ups.

Being a creative entrepreneur goes beyond just creating new products and ideas. Even in you work in a family business that has been providing the same products or services for generations, you still need to be creative. A person with a flexible, creative mind is also going to be adept at improving current products, services and systems. You can be on the lookout for new and different ways to improve your business. Perhaps your contribution to the family business could be finding a new niche or effectively utilizing an existing one.

Creativity when linked with entrepreneurship requires more than just an interesting idea. There are a lot of good ideas out there, but if you want to build a successful business you need a process that will allow you to support and properly execute that idea.

How can you enhance your creative process?

Schedule time to be creative. Instead of waiting for creativity to magically appear, choose a problem, challenge, or goal you want to tackle and give yourself a deadline. Then schedule time in your calendar to work on it, using the following suggestions.

Identify and learn about your subject.
Understanding your topic will contribute to your ability to think creatively about it. Thinking creatively involves looking at your “problem” from multiple angles, considering all of the ins and outs. Be willing to look at the situation without previous bias. Also, look for examples of success that you can learn from, whether in your industry or outside of it.

Think from a new perspective. This is the step in which your new idea starts to take shape. Be willing to go out of your comfort zone during this step. Find a new approach to your task without limiting yourself. Allow yourself free reign of thought, don’t “edit” yourself, since that only hinders your creative process. At this point there are no stupid ideas!

Let your subconscious mind go to work.
Now begins the “mulling” stage. Let your idea sit for a while, allowing your subconscious to continue working on the problem. Surprisingly, this is often one of the most important stages of a creative process. You will often return with a fresh perspective, ready to continue.

Problem solve.
During this stage you are working on making your idea practical. It’s once again important that you don’t limit yourself, but this is the stage where you start streamlining your idea into a more workable package. This is where you start thinking about your idea as something that could actually be implemented.

Think critically. Now is the time to edit yourself. Look at the problem and your solution, and assess its viability. Ask someone whose opinion you value to try to find holes in your solution. Because you may be emotionally attached to idea, it can be difficult to critique it on your own without bias.

Critical thinking is the end of your creative process, now it is time to implement any viable ideas left. Once again you don’t have to be especially “creative” to implement this process, all you have to do is show up.

What if you have a tangled problem and the more you think about it the more stuck you feel? You might benefit from a session with a therapist. As surprising as it may sound, I’ve had many business epiphanies occur in my office over the years. Please contact my office to set up an appointment. I have an office in Jantzen Beach where we can meet in person or I offer online therapy for those residing in Oregon or Washington states if that is more convenient for you.

Find Time to Be Kind – You and Your Business Will Benefit

Wednesday, June 14, 2017


Volunteers looking through boxesShowing kindness to others directly affects your own happiness. You’ve probably already noticed that when you help other people, it makes you feel good. But do you know why?

 
By focusing on other people and working to make their life better, you think less about your own problems and worries. This keeps you from dwelling on the negative and moves you to focus on the positive.
 
This is good news for your health! Positive thinking can boost your immune system, lower your blood pressure, and lessen your risk of heart disease. Since there is an inseparable connection between the mind and the body, feelings of joy, sadness, anger, hope, and apathy directly affect your body. So, by replacing negativity and pessimism in favor of kindness and joy, you can improve your physical health.
 
Showing kindness is also a great way to create and enhance social connections with people, which can foster a sense of purpose and meaning in life. Think about a time that you volunteered in your community or took a moment to say or do something for a stranger. Didn't you feel more connected with others and possibly made new friends in the process?
 
One small act of kindness can trigger a chain reaction. A small thing to you can mean everything to another person. It can move them to do something nice for someone else. When you show kindness to others, they are more likely to show kindness in return. Your one act can spread out into the community and come back full circle to where you are on the receiving end of someone else’s kindness.
 
But how can kindness benefit your business?
 
You might think that entrepreneurs need to be tough and aggressive but actually kindness does help you run a successful business. For one thing, as we already discussed acts of kindness fosters optimism. What business owner doesn’t need an abundance of that quality?
 
You’ll notice that showing kindness keeps you in touch with your community. Involving yourself and your employees in community events or fundraisers promotes a team spirit. It also helps your company’s reputation as a business that cares, which helps you stand out in a competitive marketplace.
 
The advent of social media is a great tool to offer memorable customer service. People are quick to lament a faulty product or terrible service on social media. When that happens, without being asked, reach out with a friendly note, send a free product, offer a sincere apology… Basically do something kind. These are interactions that people will remember and tell their friends about.
 
Kindness in the workplace also contributes to employee retention. Good, loyal employees can be hard to find. Once you find them, you have to work to keep them. A happy workforce is a good workforce. So encourage laughter, teamwork, and bonding. Express appreciation and offer commendation. Small acts of kindness, like buying lunch for the office, can make a big difference.
 
Are you convinced that being kind is worth the effort? Sometimes it can be challenging to be kind if you’re dealing with a lot of internal or external stress. If you could use some help please contact my office to set up an appointment.  I have an office in Jantzen Beach where we can meet in person or I offer online therapy if that’s a better fit for you.

Entrepreneurs - Stop Complaining! Try Honest Self-Assessment Instead

Monday, May 15, 2017


Stop complaining signStop complaining? But it feels so good to complain! It helps you get things off your chest, feel heard, and start working towards a solution. Your business moves forward when you identify problems and communicate about them. Or does it?
 
The reality is that complaining has become a knee-jerk reaction to anything we don’t like. We complain about the weeds in our yard, our pants that have become too tight (as we sit there eating a cookie), the high cost of living, and the trials of running a business. As a society, we have become quick to complain and slow to change.
 
There are times, of course, when “complaining” or notifying someone of a problem or injustice is a good thing. Discussing a problem with a team of people can help solve it faster and more effectively. However, most of the time our expressions of pain, dissatisfaction, or resentment are simply reactions to a perceived issue.
 
What’s wrong with complaining? Simply put: it doesn’t do anybody any good. It won’t solve your problem. It won’t make you feel better. It will waste your time, time you could have spent working on a solution. Complaining also fosters a negative attitude in you and the person listening to you.
 
Another problem with complaining is it relegates you to perpetually being a victim. The more you complain, the less you feel in control of your life and your business. As an entrepreneur, you have worked hard to be in control and lead your company to greatness. Complaining takes away some of that power you have.
 
The most common response to obstacles involves a mental process where we solely consider possible external or technical reasons for the problem. What kind of obstacles do you encounter in your business path? Is your first reaction to find an outside source for the problem? The product isn’t good enough. My competition has better advertising. The economy isn’t doing well. The more you think like that, the less control and power you have over your problems.
 
Let’s look at these problems a different way. Rather than being quick to look to eternal forces that are holding you back, could you look internally? When working through obstacles in life, I encourage you to question every aspect of your approach to your business, including your methods, biases, and assumptions. This kind of rigorous self-examination requires that you honestly challenge your beliefs and goals, and work up the courage to act and make a change.
 
Look deep and determine your personal definition of real success. What exactly are you looking for in life? Do your goals for your business truly align with your definition of success? Honestly evaluate your strengths and weaknesses. Everybody has both! Realizing who you really are will help you determine the best path to take and changes to make. And in the end, look for the positive. Don’t let challenges stop you. Instead, view them as incentives to change and move in a positive, new direction.
 
When you look inside yourself you take back your power as a successful entrepreneur. Other people and things did not make your business great – you did! So only you can take back your life by taking a deep look at yourself instead of complaining.
 
I encourage you to look at and complete the Self-Assessment Exercises in my book Entrepreneurial Couples – Making It Work at Work and at Home. They will help you dig deep on a number of topics from your working relationship with your spouse, to your views on family and money, to how you view yourself. These are great tools to begin your journey inside yourself.
 
Sometimes we need the help of a trained professional to get past barriers and assess ourselves honestly. If you live in the Portland, OR/Vancouver, WA area, please contact my office to set up an appointment.

Can Entrepreneurs Get Away with Sleeping Less?

Wednesday, May 10, 2017


Man laying in bed looking at computerAs an entrepreneur, you likely pride yourself on your resilience and tenacity. You push yourself beyond your limits, often sacrificing physical needs for the benefit of your business. Perhaps one of the first things to go after starting your business was a good night’s sleep.
 
How much sleep do you get at night? Eight? Six? Less? Do you find yourself staying up late and waking up early to care for all of your personal and business commitments? 
 
Being sleep deprived has almost become a status symbol in our culture. You must be very important, very in-demand, if you don’t sleep much. It is also viewed as evidence of a strong work ethic. Especially among entrepreneurs, a good night’s sleep is often looked down on, as something only lazy people get to enjoy. The reality is while you need to work hard and even make sacrifices to build your business, sleep should not be one of them! If you want to grow a successful business, a consistent lack of sleep isn’t going to help your cause.
 
What about the people we hear about who thrive on five hours a night? That’s great for them. But know that they are a tiny group, making up only three to five percent of the population. Most likely you are not part of this group. Sleep experts tell us that the majority of healthy adults need between seven and nine hours of sleep every night. That applies to even the busiest entrepreneur!
 
But you may think, “I haven’t slept more than five hours a night for months, even years. And I’m doing just fine.” Is that really enough for your body, though? Try this: the next time you go on vacation, track your sleep. How long do you sleep at night? Do you wake up feeling more refreshed and alert? As the day progresses, do you feel sharper, more even-tempered, and attentive?
 
If you notice that you feel consistently more alert and even-tempered after a solid seven to nine hours of sleep, then take that to heart. You’re an entrepreneur, not a superhero. Good sleep, and enough of it, is non-negotiable!
 
Your body and mind are not “fine” when you skimp on sleep. You may learn to survive on less sleep, but you can’t train yourself to thrive on less sleep. However much sleep you need is fixed, and you need to make the effort to get it.
 
Why is sleep so important? Your body rejuvenates overnight. Your cells, muscles, and organs all perform vital, life-sustaining tasks when you sleep, keeping you healthy. Lack of sleep is linked to everything from depression to heart disease to cancer.
 
Lack of sleep also affects your memory, impulse control, and stress management. It makes you less efficient at running your business. Sleep deprivation impairs your ability to make good decisions, follow through, and communicate effectively. The qualities that led you to entrepreneurial success – innovation and adaptability – are quick to decline.
 
So if you are not getting enough sleep, take action now. Reschedule your routine to leave enough time for sleep. Do you need eight hours to feel good and perform at your best? Then plan accordingly. Take charge of your physical and mental health by getting the right amount of sleep for you!
 
Sleep problems can be deeper than simply not having enough time to sleep. If insomnia has become a problem for you, please consult with your physician. If he or she can’t find a solution to your chronic insomnia, and you live in the Portland, OR/Vancouver, WA area, please contact my office to set up an appointment. I can help you get back on the road to optimal health and wellness.

Money Tips for Couples Starting Their Own Business

Wednesday, April 26, 2017


Couple sitting at desk looking at billsYou’ve got a new business idea? Great! Your romantic partner is on board to work with you? Even better! As you begin to plan the logistics of how this new enterprise with your partner will grow and thrive, it goes without saying that planning financial matters will be on the top of your list of things to do.

These plans do not refer solely to financial matters directly related to the business, such as start-up costs, fees, and overhead. When you’re working together as a couple, money issues are also part of your personal lives. One partner may keep their full-time job while the other devotes their time to the new business. Maybe you will both quit working and jump in with both feet. How will this entrepreneurial venture affect your children?

As a couple, you need to determine ahead of time, how you will manage your money, or lack thereof, during this transition.

Over the years, I have had the opportunity to work with many entrepreneurial couples, and there is a pattern among those who have long-term, happy relationships interwoven with a prosperous business life. Here are some money tips for couples starting their own business I have seen work time and again:

  • Make a plan for personal expenses. Know what you have, and what you can afford. Growth usually requires a certain amount of risk, but don’t go into your new situation blind. Create a solid plan for how you will continue to pay for your personal expenses as the business grows.


  • Prepare to live on a single income. It may not come to this. Your business could be profitable immediately. Or you may both continue working full-time until the business reaches a point where you feel comfortable with one or both of you quitting your full-time job. But be prepared for the idea that you may very likely have to survive on less for a time. Make sure that no matter where your money is coming from, you both feel like equal partners. Regular communication is vital to maintaining that feeling of partnership.

  • Designate responsibilities. Don’t get lost in the chaos that comes with launching a new business. Keep in touch with each other and make sure everyone feels valued. For efficiency’s sake, you may divide up duties along the lines of who is most capable or available. At the end of the day, though, you are just as responsible as your partner for the success of your goal. If one spouse is less involved in the business, show gratitude for the work they do and sacrifices they make in other ways.


  • Give 100%. Each partner should consider themselves 100% responsible for the quality of their individual life as well as their joint venture (i.e. parenting, household duties, managing & promoting a business). You should put your whole self, talents, intuitions, and muscle into the marriage and business partnership. When both partners do this, it makes them each equally responsible for the outcome.


  • Communicate. There is no substitute for regular, meaningful communication. What does this have to do with money? Your business will suffer if you are not working together as partners in life and business. Take time out from the stress of entrepreneurship to reconnect and keep love as your top priority. This means talking about things unrelated to your business. Talk about the things that feed your soul, that concern you, that bring you joy.


  • Maintain a healthy work-life balance. Starting and running a successful business requires an inordinate amount of time and energy. It could result in you losing touch with those most important to you. It is also crucial to care for your personal health and well-being. Your business can’t run without you, and your partner doesn’t want to do it without you. Set aside time to be active in a way that energizes and invigorates you, and schedule time with your family and friends. That time spent recharging your batteries can be just what you need to persevere and achieve even greater things.


Talking about money is a top stressor for many couples. When you add in the stress of starting a new business don’t be surprised if things get a bit rocky in your relationship. I’ve helped many couples make a success of their marriage and their business. If you live in the Portland, OR/Vancouver, WA area, please contact my office to set up an appointment. If you live elsewhere, take a look at remote education services specifically for entrepreneurial couples.

How to Be a Fearless Woman Business Owner

Tuesday, April 25, 2017


Woman standing in business suitAre you a woman business owner? You’re not alone. According to the National Association of Women Business Owners, in 2015, “More than 9.4 million firms are owned by women, employing nearly 7.9 million people, and generating $1.5 trillion in sales as of 2015.” That’s pretty impressive! Yet I find that so many successful businesswomen still feel inadequate at times.

Of course we all have different life experiences, and come from varied backgrounds and circumstances but there are certain fears that women frequently face as they run their business. What are they? And how can you conquer these fears so you think and act like a truly fearless leader?

Let’s examine three common fears and how to get past them:

1. Fear of not being viewed as “nice”. Women tend to avoid saying or doing things that could be viewed as aggressive or selfish. So they put their needs and desires in the background, not talking about them or even acknowledging them. Have you ever caught yourself doing this?

The problem is, when you don’t feel heard or recognized, resentment usually follows. Resentment grows quickly, and it doesn’t go unnoticed by those around you. When they feel the tension, but you’re not communicating what the problem is, it causes more tension and everyone just ends up feeling like they’re walking on eggshells around you – definitely not a pleasant, productive work environment.

The best gift you can give people you work with is to be clear with them about your goals and desires. Even if they don't agree with you they know where you stand. Nothing is hidden.

2. Fear of confrontation. This is closely tied in with the fear of being perceived as “not nice”. Women often will try to bury conflicts instead of actively resolving them. Perhaps you’ve done this before. You walk around as if everything is fine, when you are really upset. Maybe someone isn’t fulfilling their job duties, or you have an employee who is ten minutes late every day. It is an issue that needs addressing, but you just can’t bring yourself to do it.

Avoiding conflict can lead to serious problems. Issues can fester, and progress isn’t made. What began as a minor issue or annoyance will grow into a huge problem if it isn’t addressed quickly.

To move forward, you must firmly, but respectfully, confront the issue at hand. Acknowledge that there may be differing opinions, but insist that things get talked out. Keep talking until you reach a resolution. It may be that your difference of opinion is just what the system needs to be more profitable and productive.

3. Fear of failure. The idea of failure gives everyone some level of anxiety. As a woman, you feel failure differently. You fear failure in your business venture, but also worry about failing at your marriage or as a mother. Women place a high value on work-life balance, and a perceived loss of that balance can cause a woman to feel like a failure.

This particular fear can be paralyzing. It can prevent you from taking chances or growing your business. It keeps you from reaching out or taking on more responsibility. It holds you back from growing personally and professionally.

The next time the “what-if’s?” start taking over, take a minute for yourself. Be still, quiet, and let yourself feel the fear and anxiety. Then, once the emotions have settled, move forward and take action. Without risk and investment, there is no return. Without putting in a good deal of time and money, you wouldn’t have your company. Without your hard work at your company, your children would not have the future you want for them. Without putting your heart on the line, you wouldn’t have close relationships with your loved ones. Remind yourself of the good results of your past decisions. Have confidence that you can move forward to experience more positive results.

There are many other challenges that you as a woman business owner face, and other fears as well. If you know you could use someone to hold you accountable and help you push beyond your self-imposed boundaries I would love to work with you. If you live in the Portland, OR/Vancouver, WA area, please contact my office to set up an appointment.

How to Use Mindfulness to De-Stress at Your Desk

Monday, April 03, 2017


Here are some practical ways to use mindfulness to de-stress at your desk so you can mindfully choose mental and emotional states that most benefit you.Is work getting you down? Do you carry the job stresses home to your family, inflicting them with your bad mood? That just creates more stress, doesn’t it? If you’re ready to try something new that stops this cycle, I’ve got a recommendation for you…try mindfulness.

What is mindfulness? Basically it means you’ve developed a focused mental state based on your awareness of the present moment, while calmly acknowledging and accepting your feelings, thoughts, and bodily sensations.

If you have a daily practice of mindfulness at your desk, you can release the tension as it begins rather than letting it build like a pressure cooker ready to explode. Try these simple mindfulness ideas and see if they don’t work for you…

  • Focus on one thing at a time. Mindfulness helps you hone in on the one thing you need to accomplish at this moment in time. This helps you avoid the temptation to multitask.
  • Be aware of what your body needs. You know how sitting for hours staring at a computer screen makes you feel. It’s not pleasant. Don’t just sit there and take it. Move your body until it’s relieved. Stand up, stretch and move at least once an hour to relieve any tightening and to remind yourself to keep good posture.
  • Keep yourself centered. You know how stress can make you feel off kilter and out of sorts. Take time to collect yourself. Find a quiet place and relax through meditation or going for a walk.
  • Clear out the clutter to stay in the moment. When all those nagging, little tasks pile up, it’s amazing how much stress they exert on you. If they can be done in 5 minutes or less, clear them out of the way.
  • Breathe. When you get up to stretch, do a few breathing exercises too. Draw air deeply into your lungs and feel yourself relax. Too often people breathe shallowly, which adds to your feelings of anxiety.
  • Remember your purpose. The job isn’t everything. Work is a means to make a living so you and your family are happy and healthy. This puts things in perspective and helps you create boundaries so work stays at work, so you’re no longer taking it home with you.

Sometimes stress builds up and becomes a chronic problem that detrimentally affects all areas of your life. If this has happened to you, please seek the help of a mental health professional. If you live near Portland, OR/Vancouver, WA please feel free to contact my office and schedule an appointment so we can get it resolved and you can move on.


Read more on my website: Managing Stress and Releasing Unresolved Stress.


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