Books & Articles

Feeling Pushed to the Edge?

Life with a Partner or Spouse with Asperger Syndrome:

Going over the Edge?

Practical Steps to Saving You and Your Relationship

Kathy J.Marshack, Ph.D.; Foreword by Stephen Shore, Ed.D.

Life with a Partner or Spouse with Asperger Syndrome

Dear Reader,

Any relationship – whether romantic, friendships, relationships with parents and siblings, etc., is subject to ups and downs due to human nature in general and the individual partners, in particular.

When Asperger Syndrome is part of the mix, the challenges easily mount. This is not to say that the Aspie partner is to blame or is at “fault.” However, given that the core characteristics of Asperger Syndrome relate to communication, emotions, perspective taking and sensory issues, the very components upon which relationships are built, it is no wonder that misunderstanding and frustration often crop up in these relationships.

Focusing primarily on the neurotypical (NT) partners, my book emphasizes the importance of fully understanding Asperger Syndrome and then taking a close look at how it impacts their lives. Without insight and tolerance gained from understanding, many NT spouses end up feeling misunderstood, frustrated, isolated and unloved.

In Life with a Partner or Spouse with Asperger Syndrome: Going over the Edge? Practical Steps to Saving You and Your Relationship, I seek to help NT individuals learn how to arrive at a new understanding of themselves and their significant other.

Addressing the often “touchy” topics of sex, rage, divorce and shame, I shares poignant anecdotes from individuals I’ve worked with over the years who have been in NT-Aspie relationships, including myself, giving a glimpse at the “inner workings” of these relationships.

Each chapter closes with a series of “Lessons Learned” that recap on the salient points of the chapter and offer new ways to look at the situations presented, as well as tips on how to handle similar situations in one’s own life.

Read the reactions from both perspectives (NT & Aspie):

“With vivid examples drawn from years of professional practice and life experience, Dr.Marshack expertly guides the reader towards success in marriage when Asperger Syndrome is present. Full of practical tips, the major lesson learned from this book is that learning to interface between the different ‘operating systems’ of spectrum and nonspectrum partners leads to better communication with greater mutual understanding and satisfaction. Highly recommended to all seeking to learn more about Asperger Syndrome and long-term relationships.”

– Yi Liu Shore

“This book may be difficult and challenging to read at times, as its hard-hitting examples and arguments force readers to take stock of their own relationships and relate to feelings they may have or have had about their spouses and significant others. However, the knowledge gained from the examples and practical tips throughout the book will promote a more solid and satisfying union between two people. Ultimately, If you are in a successful relationship, many of the stories and ideas expressed here may not apply to you. For better or for worse, no two relationships are the same.”

Stephen M. Shore, Ed. D., assistant professor of education, Adelphi University; internationally known author, consultant, and presenter on issues related to the autism spectrum; member, Board of Directors, the Asperger’s Association of New England and the Autism Society of America.

It is my hope that through the stories of others, readers can more clearly look at their own situations and, based on the ideas in this book, take the necessary steps to live happier, more full-filled lives.

Best wishes on life’s journey,
Dr. Kathy Marshack

Kathy J. Marshack, Ph.D., P.S.
Licensed Psychologist & Family/Business Consultant
PO Box 873429
Vancouver, WA 98687-3429
(360)256-0448
info@kmarshack.com