Books & Articles
A Sliver in my Mind:
Loving Those with Asperger Syndrome
Author, Kathy J. Marshack, Ph.D., P.S.
(Scheduled for release by New Horizons Press, January 2009)
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Here are what readers are saying about my upcoming book:
OMG Kathy!
Just read your chapter, it is INCREDIBLE!!!
Your words flowed, You had me in tears!!!!!
Please get this out there!!! I will help you any way I can. This is exactly what I had always envisioned in my head but could never put into action. Keep up the great work and GET THIS OUT THERE!!!! WE NEED TO BE HEARD!!! I'm too emotional right now, can't wait to meet you
L , New York City
Dear Dr. Marshack,
Oh, I am desperately seeking a book such as this. Have your editors rush the publishing please. And thank you for making the first chapter available on line. It was like a wisp of fresh air after years of helpless gasping for oxygen. I know I'm not the only one trapped like this who needs a lifeline and a roadmap from someone who understands and believes. (Could there truly be hope for My Life in AS-Marriage Prison?)
S, USA
I am interested in the book, "A Sliver in My Mind." I am an NT woman and was married to an AS man. Five years ago, we went through a hellish divorce. It was a horrific experience after 14 years of a 'walking on eggshells' marriage. I am now a single parent raising both our sons who have AS. I could not believe how closely your FAQs described my experiences.
C, USA
I want to send my support to what you are doing. Perhaps your book will throw the life-line to other people who grew up feeling emotionally starved like me. I would be happy to be interviewed if that will support your work, and it may do me good too to just tell my story, as long as the family members I talk about can remain anonymous.
Y, Australia
Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! I just read the first chapter of her book and it's my life. Oh my God! All this time I thought something was wrong with me. Its been hard for me as K . . . was my first boyfriend so when I thought he was acting strange I didn't have much reference to go by. I just wrote to Dr. Marshack because I want that book. I'm shaking right now, I tried to call you but you didn't answer either phone and I didn't want to leave a blubbering message. YOU ARE AN ANGEL!!!!
S, USA (written to her friend who referred her to my website)
My new book is about surviving and moving beyond these troubling relationships that suck the life out of you. As challenging as AS is for those who have it, it can be a nightmare of pain and loneliness for those who love them. I should know since for years I have dealt with it daily in my own home. And as a professional I am passionate about helping others as they struggle through the complexities of AS relationships.
How is Asperger Syndrome Affecting your Marriage?
What does your husband and the late eccentric billionaire, Howard Hughes have in common? Howard drove Kate Hepburn away with his remote personality, rigid routines, dedication to minute details and social anxiety. I suspect that Hughes suffered from Asperger Syndrome or AS which explains why he was so brilliant and yet so clueless. In the movie, "Aviator," we saw the AS side of Hughes whose eccentricities and volatile temper destroyed his love affair with Kate Hepburn. Could AS be destroying your marriage?
If you are a soldier or even a civilian in a war zone, you have no illusions that the experience should be pleasant or kind or loving. It is war. Your every waking moment concentrates on survival. But what if the war zone is your home, and the battlefield is your heart? What if you must protect yourself from the maddening inconsistencies and verbal abuse of the one you love?
It may not be your fault. It could be your spouse. Your smart, financially successful husband could be autistic, yet undiagnosed. He could have an incurable form of high functioning autism, known as Asperger Syndrome. You may have heard about this disorder in children, but what happens when autistics grow up and marry?
Unlike Rain Man, who had a more severe form of autism, your high functioning AS husband can pass for normal, except at home. He alternately breaks your heart or drives you stark raving mad because he doesn’t seem able to connect with you. Sometimes he has a kind of mind-blindness, which means that he is self-centered, thoughtless, unreasonable, demanding and when angered . . . verbally abusive.
The bottom line is this. These are very tough relationships and it is no one’s fault. First and foremost, it is important to understand that there is no blame. Although all of us are unique and none of us have the same set of fingerprints, there are patterns among NTs that are different than the patterns among Aspies. And these differences in brain organization and behavior patterns can create serious interpersonal problems for the NTs and Aspies involved.
Often the relationships are so strained that the conflicts escalate to damaging proportions involving divorce, child abuse, domestic violence, depression and a host of other problems. I think it makes sense to explore these relationships and make an effort to teach others how to do better. That is my attempt.
The loneliness is perhaps the greatest heartache we live with. But there is no point in trying to change a loved one with an incurable autism disorder. Instead change yourself. It’s time to take back your sanity and rebuild a life. This is what my book helps you to do.
If you are interested in ordering your own copy of the book, please send an email to info@kmarshack.com with your contact information (name, email and/or mailing address). We will contact as soon as the book becomes available. You can also stay up-to-date with the lastest news by reading my blog or subscribing to my newsletter.
Click here to read sample chapters of the book!
Kathy J. Marshack, Ph.D., P.S.
Licensed Psychologist & Family/Business Consultant
PO Box 873429
Vancouver, WA 98687-3429
(360)256-0448
info@kmarshack.com
